How to steal money from other researchers

You are on a budget and need some extra money? No problem, here is what you can do:

  1. Open a bank account
  2. Find an organization that is supporting research in your area
  3. Get a collaborator to send them a grant proposal (make sure he or she does a good job here)
  4. Tell collaborator that you have that bank account (collaborator has to be naive and/ or from abroad)
  5. Let the collaborator convince the donating organization to send the money to your account

That is it. Now just use the money yourself.

If the collaborator should complain to the institute management, tell them the money is yours and tell some insulting things about the collaborator; they will believe you and further insult the collaborator. That should fix that “problem”.

Oh, I forgot: to make this work you will have to be the spouse of the university president. So figure that out firs!

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